HEDIOUS

In search for solace 

I went ahead.

With my mind wandering in black forest 

Crows hovering my death ,

I went ahead.

I search for myself

Path to walk on ,

Dread on by many before

I went ahead.

Holding my eyes in hand keeping my heart chained,

In search for justice

I went ahead.

Blood stains ,left those behind 

Found one berth, where I can rest

Dripping wet, I still went ahead.

It kept raining as my eyes are now at the skies I look at ,

Kept on sinking but never felt this free ,

Whosoever kept the pieces of me are now just getting scavenged .

I went ahead...

I crouch down like a swan tapping on the berth 

Lightly,

Floating over my sorrows I looked around to see the hazy hazel shade of grey,

I went ahead ...

~DIVINE✨

ABSTRACT: Never expected to see the turn over, the biggest turmoil in my life, it might seem goofy and foggy as this is what I was feeling few days back. 

Feelings seems so easy to judge but it's always hard to study their complexities. We always find it hard to describe what we feel as, most of the times we failed to recognise the power those unsaid unheard truths have.

UNFORGETTABLE LOVE OF MINE

Isn't it interesting people go around ,passes by but that person still lingers in my head, the name is always dancing on my lips waiting for it's partner to come and ask my hand, tasting the life essence. 

It was always him, am looking after ,it's as if my eyes don't play hide and seek in the crowd they just spot him in those countless people.

It was not magical ,i was just used to find him first hahahaaa... My expertise.

I don't want to keep it long, as even the longest period of time was mine alone ,he was there as my shadow visible to me but ignorant to him.

 While i was busy clicking his shots secretly, he was busy treating me as his sister duhhh!!

dull man isn't he .

 

Mmmmm...If i ever wish to propose him ,i will find the busiest place to do ,so that he knows even in this bheed-bhaad ki duniya( crowded place ),am still looking at you . So that he knows that even in the place full of living beings ,I want to be the one to hold hands with you.

 If i got rejected ,after that, it will be more easier for me to ease the emotional roller coaster I'll be going thru then. He won't feel awkward to say ' no' . If he says 'yes ',I'll let the whole world know that, yes i succeeded ,I'll let him know ki ,you Dumbo you only know me here no one else among them and it'll remain the same . We never would be strangers like them. I am not saying ki it's impossible but am sure if it's me or as far as i know you'll make sure not to break the trust I'll be putting on you. For this to happen i first have to propose him and i don't have the guts .

 

Living and sharing the same air and still seeing him is once in a blue moon thing , now you guys can imagine how miserable i am ...tho thanks to thy festivals, all those festive vibes , activities ,i saw him wearing a ,all reshmi kurta matched with perfect black jeans ,He looked so handsome under the moonlight and so unbearably in need of love that my heart nearly broke .

For everyone else he was a bloody womanizer, Waiting for a woman wearing nothing but draped in sheets at his home, a statement to prove that he a scoundrel through'n through,

(Were they red or what i mean the sheets scoff...)tho, the truth of matter was ,he was a man of great generosity,noticing very small and minute details ,possessing the capability of love that was unmatched among men.

"Tell me atlas what is heavy the world or the people's heart ?" For me i cannot handle both it's tough ,very tiring you might end up in a hopeless yet an entangled story. ( from entangled i meant stuck between me liking him or my imaginative fantasies i had with him )

This one is dedicated to the unforgettable love of mine 

~DIVINE✨

And my "CHAAI KI CHUSKI" is waiting for you guys to enjoy so ,yeaa stay tuned to know what exactly this gonna be .

~DIVINE✨

AS I TURNED 18

 

The life was long ,

Long enough to reach the Stars .

The life was beautiful full of smiles and pyaar 

Only Maa paa were the one who taught me about this jahaan .

The time we fought and slept together at the end of the day .

The kashti of dreams flying in sky ,

The ship sailing in the road ,

The tanks on water,

Butterflies with no wings ,

The wild imagination we all had .

Walking on toes to on heels .

The drive was long with no steering wheel no GPS too...

The nights were never long 

Making friends was never tough 

Abba and Katti were the best words...

As I turned 18 ,

I stopped  believing in fairytale because 

The world I fantasized was a mirage, as I stepped into world it has shattered my fist size heart.

Even 'that' single sheet of paper did decided my future 

I got in college while others opted for another year .

The time I lost myself ,

Facing myself, fighting for love and acceptance 

Looking in the mirror was tough .

I changed as who I am for pleasing others ,

The mirror on the wall condemned me hard .

I was once full of bruises on my body with a smile on the face now I wear a long shiffon  silhouette with a mask of happiness. 

As I walked down the aisle I left the crown, walked on fire ,to enter hell the gates were wide open to welcome me into their world .

I was proud as the jin quenched my thirst 

The dark smoke was my 24/7 nebulizer .

The clock was ticking time went by 

I lost myself as I blacked out  in there.

When I opened my eyes the mirror said something to me again ,

Open your eyes look into me you have changed now you don't have eyes like Butterflies anymore ,

Your soul is burning with vengeance and have no peace. it's time to stop before it's too late come back my child so that you can proudly see yourself in me again.

After loosing my consciousness for months 

I realised  I better off who I was  ,silly and not famous me like before...

~DIVINE✨️

It's just a single aspect I have tried to present that how we teens get ourselves into drugs smoking and many other addictions just to seem more cool around their peers. 

 

जीवन – मरण –दो पहलू

 इस अस्पताल मे आके पता चला 'कीमती' किसे कहा जाता हैं,

वो सोना नही जो चमकता हो ,वो हीरा नही जो परखा जाता हो

वो रोलेक्स की घड़ी नही ,तो वो कोई अभिनेता की चकाचौंध नहीं ।

कीमती तो इधर सांसें होती ,

लोगों की आंखों मे वो आस की किरण होती है,

वो हर आंसू जो छलकता है,

वो हर एहसाह जो काटने को दौड़ता है।

कीमती वो स्ट्रेचर का पहिया होता है जिसका ओ पी डी मे जाने का एक निश्चित समय होता है।

वो अपना जब कोई अंदर जाता है शंका त्यागी नही जाती ,

और उस कारणवर्ष ईश्वर के दूत को बहुत सुनाया जाता है।

वो "operation is successful"सुनना हर किसी का एक सपना बन जाता है।

यह समय की कीमत तो इधर आके ही पता चलती है जनाब ,

जब एक-एक लम्हे मे इंसान तिल-तिल मरता है ,

उस बिस्तर पर लेटना आसान लगता था 

लेकिन इंतजार का बाण लग जाना औकात दिखा देता है।

किसका शुक्रिया अदा करू किसको दोष दू यहां 

यह जगह ही अलग है भाईसाब ,

मैने एक तरफ नए जीवन का सृजन तो दूसरी ओर उस  बूढ़े बाप को मरते देखा है।

एक तरफ लोगो की खुशी ,तो दूसरी ओर शोक देखा है

लोगो की उम्मीद टूटते देखी ,तो उस नवयुवती को अपना नवजात शिशु इस चौखत पर छोड़ते देखा है।

 क्या कुछ नही देखा इसने 

 डॉक्टर की हताशी देखी, तो कइयों को लोगो के गुर्दे निकालते देखा है ।

  माँ को असहाय तो उस बाप को रोते देखा है।

  उस छोटे से मोनू को एक ही रात मे बड़ा होता देखा है,

  पैसों की धज्जियां उड़ती देखी है तो उस गरीब को लाचार देखा है

  अस्पताल मे  पताल ,तो शिव को शव बनते देखा है ,

  मैने वो पत्नी की पुकार तो उस बच्चे को झुलसते देखा है।

अपने समय पर न पहुंचे लेकिन उस अनजान को उसका सहारा बनता देखा है।

बीच मझधार मे ,जहां न आज का पता ,न कल का 

उधर एक चाय की चुस्की से लोगो को पुनः दिन की शुरुआत करते देखा है ।

यदि ये मृत्यु का द्वार है तो यमराज ने इसका ठेका ले रखा हो ,

यदि ये जीवन की उम्मीद है, तो  नंदी भी यहां ताक लगाए बैठा होगा ।

  ~DIVINE✨

 

TOXIC ISHQ

Why we can't go in seperate ways ,

Why lock me up in this jail 

Am dying dyin dying everyday .

I'll run away leaving you behind 

Breaking our love oaths like some leaves on the road .

Make a way I'll run away 

Don't come for me 

You had me for enough of days ...

Never lets meet ,never talk again 

You'll remind me of the past where I lost myself again .

Don't come to me when you feel bad

They are still there...you'll see the wounds you have left 

You'll see the vulnerable me at loss  

I don't wanna make you feel sad

It doesn't hurt anymore but people can guess ...

The joy I felt was like the taste of coffee at best ,

Sweet at first and then bitter at actual taste .

Don't melt my heart by singing those melodies 

They are not jingles anymore , it bleeds as river down the throat 

Even when we started dating 

I asked you first to answer clearly ,

You told me you'll never ,you won't leave me ever behind , 

I asked you ,can you imagine the future with Mee...

I told ya only then let's go like today or let's never see each other again 

I told ya even it won't hurt your heart 

It will break mine as am the one giving my first time away...

You lied with a smile that ,made me believed in those words ,

You said let's be forever as single soul just like oxygen in air 

I'll be there keepin you alive you'll need me everytime.

I was young, i was a fool can say i was a bit tipsy too ...

I then said it all, if you can't see it anymore I'll be gone, as I am leaving today ...

 The way you touched me is still fresh in my mind ,

 The way you held me ,am still feeling tight , The whispers are still lingering in my head,

 The nights were long but ain't sufficient for us ...

 

The day brought us light when we were naked lying inside the bed linen 

The sun was scroching hot we were melting as one 

The play hide and seek was fun ,

Now it's all coming to an end ...

 No back hugs no french toast ,not even the sweetest goodbye with a kiss .

 No more come back text no more those not so controllable wait.

How miserable of me that i can't even bid my bies to him with the warmest hug and cadied smile ...

~DIVINE✨