Deflowered (part-01)

 [02-april-2017,

Knock knock ,

Anyone here ? hello myself Ayisha ,what's up guys ?😁😁 So today is my first day at school I mean  it's my new school , freaking excited 😉😉😎😎, oops! forgot to tell you am in 12 standard yea yea Mera last year h or school change don't ask me the reason kyu Kiya bas kr liya . Idk wether I will be able to adjust or not ,man! who cares let it be for now ,me gotta enjoy to the fullest aakhir apni koi repo vagera bhi banani h Yaar school mey . Gtg😁😁

.

.

.

Yoi ,m back Huh!!! my first day was tiring miss Pushpa my maths teacher she irritates the hell out of me bas Baar Baar mujhse SE hi har question Pooche jaari thi hadd h ,hn ni toh or haaye hamare Eng k sir he is so handsome 😗😗 whatever don't misunderstand okay ,baaki classmates are awesome, friendly h or baaki , Harsh ,a guy in my class he is so nerd types kya hi bataun ,everytime playing with phone in the class  , always surrounded by girls and thoda body builder types ,we don't vibe not even a least bit totally opposite . Raviz and Christ they both are nice girls I mean we share a great bond ig😶 ,just like we were meant to be friends ,destined bosom friends . 

.

.

.

 A whole month passed ,now gotten  used to my new school ,made friends , everything seems normal . Ab toh summer vacations aari h.😌😌.

.

.

. 

After 1 whole year ...

Hii guys meet my sweety Anu my child my baby Anirudh,he is only a  month year old . He is surprisingly cute and too small . Have to carry him very carefully   he is so soft and fragile ki if i hold him thoda sa tight   he might break one or few of his limbs 😆😆how cute .

You all guys must be surprised ki Mai kya bol rhi hu voh bhi poore 1 Saal baad ,don't think m mad I really got a child . This whole year was  hell for me I suffered ,I tried to run away ,I cried , got panic attacks ,depression  and many things . You all must be curious ki why ?? Why?? And why ?? 

M going to share my painful past now here with you all ,

it was june my summer break was going on I was happy doing my holiday homework ,parties with friends and all that was quite a fun time for me but one day ,on 18 June my life changed , Jo hua ,that was the turning point . It was 6 pm In the park , was jogging or at 7 on my way back home  ... got kidnapped ...mujhe nhi pata tha ki where I was what's going on with me I was drugged at that time and there was a man ...bruttaly assaulted me I wasn't even in my senses to ask out for help  , my whole body was numb ,lying there helplessly . After whole night passed ,I managed escape somehow, only ik ki how I managed to do so at that time,that was totally horrible for me .

When I came back at my home in a total messed up state , parents questioned kya hua ,what happened ,bolo Kuch ,but aisa tha ki aavaaz hi ni Nikal rhi thi everything was blank ,not able to understand what they were saying wasn't able to accept ki Jo hua voh real tha  ,after a whole half an hour  I blurted out everything that took me a lot of courage , my family was not able to digest this fact ,I lost control over my conciousness felt dizzy and dheere dheere Andhera SA hone laga and suddenly total black out ,my parents launched the complaint I was admitted to the nearby hospital . 2 weeks passed i was still in the coma then ,mujhe Sab sunaayi dera tha I was able to hear my parents cry ,begging me to woke up but Mai toh uthna hi ni chahti thi bas bhula dena chahti thi Jo hua , after sometime I decided to face the reality and then my body started showing response Sab mujhme improvement dekhkar Khush the but dukhi bhi the mere future k baaremey sochke yeh sochke k unki beti k Saath yeh kya ho gya . 

Month passed away ,started feeling better Sab Kuch normal hone laga tha Mai voh sab bhulaane lagi thi  ,thanks to Dr. Pallavi my counsellor she encouraged me motivated me helped me a lot during the hardest stage of my life .

School got started ,everything get back to normal on surface for me ,firbhi ek darr Beth gya tha Mann mey , parents took extra care of me mujhe Akela na chodna akele na jaane dena everything. Only Raviz and Christ knows ki kya hua tha merese and few teachers that's it ,it was fine for me . 

Then suddenly I got Dizzy and fell from the chair ,at first nothing happened then after that I got Nauseous ,  vomiting and started feeling weak. Parents took me  to clinic and pata Chala I was 1month 4weeks pregnant. Another huge blow on me .

...

...

...

Huh... lost my state of mind at first don't want to accept locked up myself in my room for days ,counselling ,  depression anxiety or got myself so stressed thinking about the thing inside my body . Yeh baat accept krne mey mujhe aadha mahina lagg gya . I was in the rehab centre at that time. So after 2 months my parents and I approved for the abortion went to gaynecologist but got another hit ki due to my weak body I won't be able to conceive next time  if we abort now . I believed ki my body sucks for sure .why is it all happening to me only why ? Questioned myself doubted myself and blamed the divinity at then end .

Maine bht socha iss baaremey ki Jo Mai KR rhi hu voh fair Hoga Uske liye who isn't even born yet , do I really need to kill this child . After that I made up my mind and decided to keep the child ,hn my parents were against my decision got myself in fight with them but ladkar datkar Sab Kuch krke they finally agreed they don't have the option either .

Don't think ki Maine abort isliye nhi Kiya cuz there won't be any next time but shaayad due to my instinct . Hardest desicion ever sabne Kaha pagal ho gyi h, it's wrong your future will be destroyed ,bht Sunna padega ,akele itni choti Umar, how will you manage but I didn't care ,darr mujhe bhi lag Raha tha ki kya Hoga ,kaise Hoga ,Sahi Hoga ya nhi . Par I decided to face that I decided to keep the baby for the sake of his future I don't want to regret ki Maine kisise uski life mey aane Ka right hi le liya aakhir the child was totally innocent he was not at fault . 

Jo good news sabko life mey Naya feel Naya experience laati h that news made me confuse, wether I be happy or not ,do I have the right to do so what does maternal feeling feel like , I will be a mom so will I have those instincts ,that other mothers have . Butterflies in stomach want to be happy ,but at the same time thinking should I be or not these mixed feelings ufff.

It is said "EVERY CLOUD HAS SILVER LINNING " this line inspired me and I opened my arms to welcome my child  to live a new life , to start over again, to give another kick in my life . I was well aware with the fact ki  with baby responsibilities will be there ,I was already prepared for all that .

I still gave my boards exams ( open schooling ) got my certificate ,gave birth to my child , now m raising him and doing my college from open . That was a harsh descion still I don't regret . ]

THE END 

So guys how are you all hope you all are doing fine . Met after a long time . ☺️☺️

So don't get confused ki yeh kya tha ,

Yeh thi Ayisha ki kahani , short story basically. It's harsh terrible ,scary and quite pitful story, I won't say pitful I will say a very inspiring story . This took me a lot of courage as it's a very controversial topic people have different opinions so slightly scared . There are many parts with less explainations as I wasn't able to write them I felt sorry for that. Do forgive me for that  .

 I wasn't able to elaborate few emotions properly sorry for that also , don't mind plz😕😞. As some emotions needs a special touch hope ki to some extent there is that special feel. Hope you all liked the story and get to know about another perspective.

QUESTION TIME🤓🤓

I want to ask everyone if you were Ayisha aap sabka kya decision hota ? What would have been your choice ? Was her descion correct or not and why ? 

Now the platform is yours , share your thoughts or suggestions  in comment section.

Looking forward for the answers of the questions I asked . people have different point of view so i request don't feel offended by anything . Just share your views and I will make sure to add those of your comments in my next blog as I will be sharing my point of view also next time .

Hope to see you soon take care and think deeply or wisely. And make sure to get vaccination on time .