HEDIOUS

In search for solace 

I went ahead.

With my mind wandering in black forest 

Crows hovering my death ,

I went ahead.

I search for myself

Path to walk on ,

Dread on by many before

I went ahead.

Holding my eyes in hand keeping my heart chained,

In search for justice

I went ahead.

Blood stains ,left those behind 

Found one berth, where I can rest

Dripping wet, I still went ahead.

It kept raining as my eyes are now at the skies I look at ,

Kept on sinking but never felt this free ,

Whosoever kept the pieces of me are now just getting scavenged .

I went ahead...

I crouch down like a swan tapping on the berth 

Lightly,

Floating over my sorrows I looked around to see the hazy hazel shade of grey,

I went ahead ...

~DIVINE✨

ABSTRACT: Never expected to see the turn over, the biggest turmoil in my life, it might seem goofy and foggy as this is what I was feeling few days back. 

Feelings seems so easy to judge but it's always hard to study their complexities. We always find it hard to describe what we feel as, most of the times we failed to recognise the power those unsaid unheard truths have.

UNFORGETTABLE LOVE OF MINE

Isn't it interesting people go around ,passes by but that person still lingers in my head, the name is always dancing on my lips waiting for it's partner to come and ask my hand, tasting the life essence. 

It was always him, am looking after ,it's as if my eyes don't play hide and seek in the crowd they just spot him in those countless people.

It was not magical ,i was just used to find him first hahahaaa... My expertise.

I don't want to keep it long, as even the longest period of time was mine alone ,he was there as my shadow visible to me but ignorant to him.

 While i was busy clicking his shots secretly, he was busy treating me as his sister duhhh!!

dull man isn't he .

 

Mmmmm...If i ever wish to propose him ,i will find the busiest place to do ,so that he knows even in this bheed-bhaad ki duniya( crowded place ),am still looking at you . So that he knows that even in the place full of living beings ,I want to be the one to hold hands with you.

 If i got rejected ,after that, it will be more easier for me to ease the emotional roller coaster I'll be going thru then. He won't feel awkward to say ' no' . If he says 'yes ',I'll let the whole world know that, yes i succeeded ,I'll let him know ki ,you Dumbo you only know me here no one else among them and it'll remain the same . We never would be strangers like them. I am not saying ki it's impossible but am sure if it's me or as far as i know you'll make sure not to break the trust I'll be putting on you. For this to happen i first have to propose him and i don't have the guts .

 

Living and sharing the same air and still seeing him is once in a blue moon thing , now you guys can imagine how miserable i am ...tho thanks to thy festivals, all those festive vibes , activities ,i saw him wearing a ,all reshmi kurta matched with perfect black jeans ,He looked so handsome under the moonlight and so unbearably in need of love that my heart nearly broke .

For everyone else he was a bloody womanizer, Waiting for a woman wearing nothing but draped in sheets at his home, a statement to prove that he a scoundrel through'n through,

(Were they red or what i mean the sheets scoff...)tho, the truth of matter was ,he was a man of great generosity,noticing very small and minute details ,possessing the capability of love that was unmatched among men.

"Tell me atlas what is heavy the world or the people's heart ?" For me i cannot handle both it's tough ,very tiring you might end up in a hopeless yet an entangled story. ( from entangled i meant stuck between me liking him or my imaginative fantasies i had with him )

This one is dedicated to the unforgettable love of mine 

~DIVINE✨

And my "CHAAI KI CHUSKI" is waiting for you guys to enjoy so ,yeaa stay tuned to know what exactly this gonna be .

~DIVINE✨

AS I TURNED 18

 

The life was long ,

Long enough to reach the Stars .

The life was beautiful full of smiles and pyaar 

Only Maa paa were the one who taught me about this jahaan .

The time we fought and slept together at the end of the day .

The kashti of dreams flying in sky ,

The ship sailing in the road ,

The tanks on water,

Butterflies with no wings ,

The wild imagination we all had .

Walking on toes to on heels .

The drive was long with no steering wheel no GPS too...

The nights were never long 

Making friends was never tough 

Abba and Katti were the best words...

As I turned 18 ,

I stopped  believing in fairytale because 

The world I fantasized was a mirage, as I stepped into world it has shattered my fist size heart.

Even 'that' single sheet of paper did decided my future 

I got in college while others opted for another year .

The time I lost myself ,

Facing myself, fighting for love and acceptance 

Looking in the mirror was tough .

I changed as who I am for pleasing others ,

The mirror on the wall condemned me hard .

I was once full of bruises on my body with a smile on the face now I wear a long shiffon  silhouette with a mask of happiness. 

As I walked down the aisle I left the crown, walked on fire ,to enter hell the gates were wide open to welcome me into their world .

I was proud as the jin quenched my thirst 

The dark smoke was my 24/7 nebulizer .

The clock was ticking time went by 

I lost myself as I blacked out  in there.

When I opened my eyes the mirror said something to me again ,

Open your eyes look into me you have changed now you don't have eyes like Butterflies anymore ,

Your soul is burning with vengeance and have no peace. it's time to stop before it's too late come back my child so that you can proudly see yourself in me again.

After loosing my consciousness for months 

I realised  I better off who I was  ,silly and not famous me like before...

~DIVINE✨️

It's just a single aspect I have tried to present that how we teens get ourselves into drugs smoking and many other addictions just to seem more cool around their peers. 

 

जीवन – मरण –दो पहलू

 इस अस्पताल मे आके पता चला 'कीमती' किसे कहा जाता हैं,

वो सोना नही जो चमकता हो ,वो हीरा नही जो परखा जाता हो

वो रोलेक्स की घड़ी नही ,तो वो कोई अभिनेता की चकाचौंध नहीं ।

कीमती तो इधर सांसें होती ,

लोगों की आंखों मे वो आस की किरण होती है,

वो हर आंसू जो छलकता है,

वो हर एहसाह जो काटने को दौड़ता है।

कीमती वो स्ट्रेचर का पहिया होता है जिसका ओ पी डी मे जाने का एक निश्चित समय होता है।

वो अपना जब कोई अंदर जाता है शंका त्यागी नही जाती ,

और उस कारणवर्ष ईश्वर के दूत को बहुत सुनाया जाता है।

वो "operation is successful"सुनना हर किसी का एक सपना बन जाता है।

यह समय की कीमत तो इधर आके ही पता चलती है जनाब ,

जब एक-एक लम्हे मे इंसान तिल-तिल मरता है ,

उस बिस्तर पर लेटना आसान लगता था 

लेकिन इंतजार का बाण लग जाना औकात दिखा देता है।

किसका शुक्रिया अदा करू किसको दोष दू यहां 

यह जगह ही अलग है भाईसाब ,

मैने एक तरफ नए जीवन का सृजन तो दूसरी ओर उस  बूढ़े बाप को मरते देखा है।

एक तरफ लोगो की खुशी ,तो दूसरी ओर शोक देखा है

लोगो की उम्मीद टूटते देखी ,तो उस नवयुवती को अपना नवजात शिशु इस चौखत पर छोड़ते देखा है।

 क्या कुछ नही देखा इसने 

 डॉक्टर की हताशी देखी, तो कइयों को लोगो के गुर्दे निकालते देखा है ।

  माँ को असहाय तो उस बाप को रोते देखा है।

  उस छोटे से मोनू को एक ही रात मे बड़ा होता देखा है,

  पैसों की धज्जियां उड़ती देखी है तो उस गरीब को लाचार देखा है

  अस्पताल मे  पताल ,तो शिव को शव बनते देखा है ,

  मैने वो पत्नी की पुकार तो उस बच्चे को झुलसते देखा है।

अपने समय पर न पहुंचे लेकिन उस अनजान को उसका सहारा बनता देखा है।

बीच मझधार मे ,जहां न आज का पता ,न कल का 

उधर एक चाय की चुस्की से लोगो को पुनः दिन की शुरुआत करते देखा है ।

यदि ये मृत्यु का द्वार है तो यमराज ने इसका ठेका ले रखा हो ,

यदि ये जीवन की उम्मीद है, तो  नंदी भी यहां ताक लगाए बैठा होगा ।

  ~DIVINE✨

 

TOXIC ISHQ

Why we can't go in seperate ways ,

Why lock me up in this jail 

Am dying dyin dying everyday .

I'll run away leaving you behind 

Breaking our love oaths like some leaves on the road .

Make a way I'll run away 

Don't come for me 

You had me for enough of days ...

Never lets meet ,never talk again 

You'll remind me of the past where I lost myself again .

Don't come to me when you feel bad

They are still there...you'll see the wounds you have left 

You'll see the vulnerable me at loss  

I don't wanna make you feel sad

It doesn't hurt anymore but people can guess ...

The joy I felt was like the taste of coffee at best ,

Sweet at first and then bitter at actual taste .

Don't melt my heart by singing those melodies 

They are not jingles anymore , it bleeds as river down the throat 

Even when we started dating 

I asked you first to answer clearly ,

You told me you'll never ,you won't leave me ever behind , 

I asked you ,can you imagine the future with Mee...

I told ya only then let's go like today or let's never see each other again 

I told ya even it won't hurt your heart 

It will break mine as am the one giving my first time away...

You lied with a smile that ,made me believed in those words ,

You said let's be forever as single soul just like oxygen in air 

I'll be there keepin you alive you'll need me everytime.

I was young, i was a fool can say i was a bit tipsy too ...

I then said it all, if you can't see it anymore I'll be gone, as I am leaving today ...

 The way you touched me is still fresh in my mind ,

 The way you held me ,am still feeling tight , The whispers are still lingering in my head,

 The nights were long but ain't sufficient for us ...

 

The day brought us light when we were naked lying inside the bed linen 

The sun was scroching hot we were melting as one 

The play hide and seek was fun ,

Now it's all coming to an end ...

 No back hugs no french toast ,not even the sweetest goodbye with a kiss .

 No more come back text no more those not so controllable wait.

How miserable of me that i can't even bid my bies to him with the warmest hug and cadied smile ...

~DIVINE✨

My Dear Crush

 

"Mai tenu pyaar kitta si 

Tu ek vaar Mudd k vekh le 

Poori duniya tere khilaaf par mai tere kol khadi hn

Jhuthe kasma te vaade bht kitte hone ne 

Mere naal sachi preet lalee 

Mai tainu pyaar kitta si 

Bas meri leyi apne dil vich jagah banale."

On the special request of certain someone I am writing this, not gonna tell you who the person is, so don't bother asking me it won't work 😄. It's a letter so hope you'll read it like that only . A childish letter to MY DEAR CRUSH.

Hello my dear crush,how are you ,hope you have no girlfriend, if you have one then I hope you'll break up with your current girlfriend so ,I can be at that position, oops! just take it as joke am not serious just date whoever you want (i know dark magic I'll handle this on my own 😏) be happy .

Well well well now I will start writing what I wanna say , how I wish if you know that I exist ,how I wish if you know what my name is ,how I wish if you find me an amusing person ,how I wish if you can reply to my text messages (lol) and how I wish if you realise that am worth a person spending whole life with.

I have known you for a long time it's not like that I haven't tried many means just to approach you but ,whenever I feel I have taken a step ahead then again my delusion breaks and you seem far away . The butterflies I always feel when seeing you are something each one of us has felt when they see their someone special oh! private , "private crush." It's hard keeping it to myself anymore, I wanna tell the whole world that yes I like you ,liking you for a long time tho, I can't it's scary at the same time . The fear of rejection always holds me back , the thought that the person I like might not know that I exist will only make a fool out of me . 

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for you to notice me, it's been ages now , this day just won't come . People already are ready for foreplay but we haven't even touched the hands lol is it too much to write ahhh ignore it . I still remember how I clicks shots of you secretly , noticing you everywhere without making it obvious but you idiot just won't see me . I have had enough of this one sided thing ,now i really wanna say it out loud that's why am writing it to you hope it will reach you and you'll understand how I feel .

I ,a person who doesn't care about koi bhi cheez, now is maintaining streaks with you so that you can look at them and notice ki wow she is interesting ,yet you didn't even bother looking at them ,why the heck you doing this to me yaar ? am telling you just go and see them . Just because of you I have to maintain those silly streaks have some shame and look at them and text me back okay .   

I know I might not be the prettiest person, nevertheless am fine for you . Peeping at you , finding chances just to stay close to you am done ,am so fed up now it's infuriating even so i ... I ... I... Can't stop lamao . I already have my fair share of fantasies with you in my imagination  so what if some of them are wilddddd ahhhhh let it be the letter will go in some other direction if I keep up with this feeling  . I already have thought of the places I wanna go with you, even the menu and dresses,they  are done even before you have said yes ,see you won't have any problem or some real brain wrecking thoughts about where ,when to go on a date ,am so damm smart uffffff ... It's tough to like you have to think of everything on my own .

It is silly and you might think of me as some pervert after reading all this just don't, don't please , I have done  all those childish things just for you, finding your Instagram Id taking months to add you, looking for some silly excuses to text you . Wanting to comment at your photo getting all weird thoughts ki what all others will think about that comment always stopping in the mid while typing . Liking your stories, thank God Instagram did the job well while updating it's functions however you just won't get the hint . It seems as if destiny is playing pranks on me . Waiting for your birthday or some festivals just to strike a conversation, asking for advices from these unreliable friends , trying to find that one comman friend who will act as  cupid's arrow for us , kya kya ni kiya  . Being all silly and shy in front of you . When the very first time I saw you i realised ki haaye mai dill nu rokk ni sakdi,ae gal mere bas di ni .

I do have my self respect and ego (lol) understand just because of this reason I always feel ,just walk out from this crush thing par dil toh ullu ka patha h maanta hi nhi , hoping for some miracle to happen again and again'n  again'n again sigh ...

Oh just for you I have written some lines i don't know how you'll see me but am definitely not some annoying person and I won't bother you like constant messages nope ,never . 

If the moon ain't shinning for you I will 

If the rain ain't making you Happy I will 

If the sun doesn't rise for you I will 

If you don't know where to go find me, I'll lead you 

If you have no one just call me

If you don't mind just remember my name 

I'll stay beside you or behind you as someone who will support you 

~DIVINE✨

Just share it with your loved ones and wait for them to notice you 😉.

Phlegethon - stream of fire

 Isn't it beautiful to give birth to a life from the inside of life ,

 The miraculous thought which become a reality.

 

THE STORY STARTED WHEN SHE WAS BORN...

The little weakling  with wobbly legs 

Crawling on the floor like a bug 

Discarded like the garbage  at other's disposal.

She fell from the heaven with a black cloak on,

 She, who doesn't shines brightly but was dazzling in the dark .

Fighting for survival where weaks are nowhere to be found.

She was surrounded with fire but not even a a single strand of her hair burned 

Powerful yet mysterious,

Strange but overwhelming ,

Flames decorating hairs like jewels ,

Beautiful to unreality ,

Not like the one burned in my mind stayed in my mouth .

She never liked death, blood and whatnot but similarly did not fear them .

EVEN WHEN THE DRAGONS BOWED TO HER SHE FELL FOR THE PERSON WITH SHAKY HEART...

The world has kissed her soul with pain ,

A long unplayed song left to be tuned 

Asking for its return through backdoor .

The heart was too small to carry all other stones ,

She kept  him dear to her even it means choosing abyss  instead of run .

Pierced with swords from her love 

The walk she had did not lasted long ,

Every single drop of her blood brought the disaster .

REGRET.. .

Deep down the sea you'll find many things 

However ,the urge to find her was incomparable .

They drugged her but she wasn't fuzzy at all, 

however made her more sober...

The long awaited journey ended for her 

Died at the hands of the person she loved the most .

When the regret call upon his name he was too late .

He held the cold icey body in his arms,

And just watched her death.

HE CAME TOO LATE TO HIS SENSES AND WATCHED HER BELOVED DIED . 

~DIVINE✨

At 40 and DIVORCED

 Looking out of the window made me realised ,

I was locked up in the jail where only  alive bodies  reside .

Even the sleep was not meant for me. Open eyes playing hide and seek with dark nights .

The home for two where only a bed ,just the daily same routine of me lying naked with him left, he was there with no warmth  .

We ate together but only i was talking and  when silence broke it echoed like it is  screaming in my head .

We were more like ones who shares the bed not the ones with whome i dreamt of spending my life ahead . In short we became sex partners from life partner , where he did payed me the service charges in name of his  salary well...

The cycle was long ,then i decided it to end ,at 40 and DIVORCED was the new tag the society labelled me as .

Even the break up doesn't felt that filmy to me , i got busy and a bit messy .

No long nights with friends ,eyes swollen and no regrets were there ,i did not drown myself with drinks straight for days , no sad songs  and no dramatic calls to my  ex . I just sold my wedding dress, to get those  damm bucks back .

Those judging remarks from society felt pleasing to me , the crowd where I once felt lost with his arm around my waist was more friendlier then anyone .

The words i was dying to listen from him ,did came out his mouth but that too much late . I thought of this day  many times that how will I react will i be crying or telling him to repent . When the time actually came i did not felt anything as if  those were some random words said out of convenience.

I waited for him to bloom my garden with happiness,now I plant my own . 

I am divorced at 40 and planning for my life ahead.

*******************************************

Jennifer Weiner~

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. 

Nobody ever died of divorce.

*******************************************

 

~divine ✨

Farewell

 ------------------------------------------  

उस सड़क की ओर फिर जाना हुआ था हाथ मे बस्ता तो नही उसका एहसाह फिरभी हुआ था ,

देखा जब उस खिड़की की तरफ, तो सब मुस्कुराते से याद आए थे,

वो बीते पूराने मस्ती भरे दिन फिर आंखो की चौखट पर आए थे ।

क्लास का वो बेंच जहां कंपस से बहुत सी यादें गड़ी गई थी,

वो सफेद दीवार जहां रंगो से छाप छोड़ी गई थी ,

क्लास मे छुप छुप कर टिफिन खाना तो आचार की खुशबू से पकड़े जाना ,

टेस्ट मे पास होने के लिए फर्रे लेजाना ,

यह पल अब न मिलेंगे दुबारा  ।

स्कूल मे बैठे बैठे छुट्टी होने का इंतज़ार वो CT पीरियड का एन्ड और बैक फुल पैक ,

टीचर के न आने पर धमाल करना , 

वो कॉरिडोर की लड़ाई ,

वोह टीचर की ठुकाई ,

उनके नए नए नाम रखना ,

मुश्किल आने पर गैंग की धमकी और दोस्त को कॉल करना,

वो क्लास बंक कर स्कूल मे घूमना ,

अब कहां आयेंगे यह दिन ।

आज break up रोना, 

तो मार्कशीट पर वही मार्क्स सिर्फ 16।

स्पोर्ट्स के पीरियड पर सब्जेक्ट टीचर का कब्जा होजाना,

वो क्लासरूम से वोशरूम का सफर बड़ा बन जाना ।

इन खट्टे मीठे पलो को याद कर आंखो मे पानी आया हे।

छोटू, मोटू ,कालू यह नाम अब दिल मे ही रह जाएंगे ,

वो पल जो यारो के साथ बिताए थे ,

अब दिल की संदूकों मे कैद होजाएंगे ।

उधर अब दुबारा वापिस जाना नही होगा,

जिस कॉरिडोर मे बातों की खिचड़ी बनती थी और गपशप का तड़का लगता था ,

 रिसेस मे वो फर्स्ट फ्लोर की सीढ़ी  अब हमारी नही होगी,

जिसे शान से अपना अड्डा कहा करते थे ,

वोह अब किसी और का ठिकाना होगा ।

वो स्कूल की लड़ाई 

 जो कभी इतनी बड़ी लगती थी ,

 अब हमारी बचकानी याद बन गई ।

देखते ही देखते न जाने कब बड़े होने लग गए 

वोह A+ से लेकर  C ग्रेड,

नजाने कबसे हमारा फ्यूचर डिसाइड करने लग गए ।

वोह रिपोर्ट कार्ड जो कभी ग्रीन, सिल्वर ,येलो, ब्लू स्टार्स से भरी होती थी ,

वोह अब मेरे सपनो का एक दरवाजा बन गए ।

 आज से 10 साल बाद "तू" से तुम "आप" होजाओगे ,

कहां साथ मे पड़ा करते थे तब अनजान होजाओगे।

 

यह मुलायम हाथ जो  blackboard पर लिखा करती थी

उनके मुरझाने का समय होजाएगा ,

हम बड़े तो होंगे मगर यह आशियाना वैसे का वैसा ही रह जाएगा ।

यह नजाने क्या वक्त आया  है,

हमारे जाने की  खबर लाया है,

इसको नए सफर की शुरुआत मानू या ,

एक अनोखे सपने का अंत,

इसका जवाब अभी भी नही आया है।

इन यादों को सौगात मे देने के लिए शुक्रिया ।

अलविदा साथियों जाने का लम्हा आया  है,

अलविदा साथियों अलविदा।।।

It's dark in my dreams

 So I don't know how light feels and what darkness meant 

don't know but but there is still something in mid in ,between them ,

I was in a room with proper lightning,

 I stood up went to the darkest room

 closed my eyes I didn't felt any change  but once ,when I opened my eyes I see everything around me was ominous tides of night 

   I ran out from there with the fear. "Ki koi USS andhere mey mujhe mujhse na cheen le  "

Not a single ounce of happiness 

No one to help 

It was pitch dark and I was jailed

Felt sick that can't show my scars too 

Darkness prevailed over me and no moon was there 

Should I try harder to run once again ,

Or should I just stop as I know it

Won't get me anywhere.

Man that was suffocating I died again n again .just to reincarnate at the same place 

Even death was tough for me 

I can't die , the damm god i cursed him 

Why ,why you can't let me even die 

As i know even he was laughing at me 

Being all in a pathetic state 

The god was none other then like Lucas for me 

I cursed him everytime I let him 

Belittle 

Tho that Lucas left me alone 

He let me realise no freaking person is gonna help you out untill you help yourself

No one is going to swim in your stead 

If you want dig up the aragonite.

I used all my strength to look for a door 

My life was like an endless book 

I read it everyday but there was no end ,

But when I took the another step ahead , I founded ,  two doors full of life 

A glimmer of hope just like the inseparable pair of Chandler and Joey.

One was a easy way while another was tough to go through .

I then thought of giving up the light to follow,to open the door  of darkness where no truth lies 

Not a single piece of soul left 

Eyes full of lifelessness,

And heart of crude blood 

I loathed myself to be like this even in my  heed 

when the time came I still chose the light ,no matter how tempting it was to decide

 

But then the biggest joke of my life happened 

I felt from my bed and opened my eyes. 

~ DIvINe ❤️🌸❤️

Hope you all are fine . it's my fault that am here after such a long time as compensation I promise to publish a post once in a month so even you guys have plenty have of time to read and think over .

As always suggestions are most welcome , don't forget to read, share and comment.

ख्वाब था टूट गया

 जिंदगी के ऐसे मोड़ पर खड़ा हूं,

और सोच रहा हूं जो बीत गया क्या वो सच था या ख्वाब था जिसमें जीते आया ,

अस्पताल के वार्ड में पंखे की खड़ -खड़ आवाज सुनकर ये खयाल मुझे चैन से मरने न देगा ,

तो आज सच और फरेब का परदा इस चूं -चूं करते बिस्तर पर हटाना पड़ेगा ।

यह सच बड़ा ही अजीब है पर इस से मुकरना मुझसे न होगा।। 

सन् 1975 का वो दिन था ,

आज फिर से बगल वाले पहलवान राजू के घर से आम चुराने थे, पलटन थी अपनी ,

पर उसे कभी चोरी का नाम न दिया ,

बड़का बोलता था" यारों ये चोरी नहीं यादें बटोर रहें है "

यादें बटोरते न जाने कब वो सात साल का लड़का जो बारिश के पानी में कश्ती बनाता 14 साल का हो आया ,

जवानी का जोश था और नए - नए फैशन का आगाज़ ,

दिलीप कुमार जैसे कपड़े और राजेश खन्ना के गानों पर नाचने का अलग ही सरूर होता था ।

वो स्कूल बंक करके सिनेमा जाना और मौहल्ले के दारा सिंह से मुलाकात किसी दूध में मक्खी के गिरने से कम ना थी ।

मेरा (अरमान) क्या जाने पहली महोब्बत क्या होती थी ,

वो तो मेरा वो ख्वाब था जो मैने 18 बरस का होकर देखा ,

नई सीढ़ी पर कदम रखा था कॉलेज की लड़की सुनीता को दिल दे बैठा था ।

सलमान की' तेरे नाम 'देखकर बालों का पोस्टमार्टम करवा तो लिया था और फ्री में बापू जी का रेडियो भी सुन लिया ।

उसका नंबर तो दूर, बात करने में भी हाए तौबा होती थी,

 उन चारों के कहने पर एक प्रेम पत्र भी लिख डाला ,आज भी संभाल कर रखा है 

क्योंकि कभी हिम्मत ही न हुई उसे गुलाब के साथ देने की ।

ना जाने क्या लिखा था मेरे नसीब में 

मगर सपनों में शादी हमारी हो चुकी थी ,

ये ख्वाब भी मेरा तब टूटा जब उस सुनीता की शादी फिक्स हो चुकी थी ।

जमकर पी थी उस दिन, उसकी याद में नहीं दोस्तों ने जो मेरी ले ली थी उसके गम में ।

शेरों की टोली ने यह तय कर लिया था प्यार नहीं करेंगे ,

पर क्या करें कमीना दिल कभी शीला तो कभी रीमा पर फिसल ही जाता था ।

बड़ा हो गया तो असल जिंदगी में पैर रखा ,

बाप गुजर गया और घर का बड़ा था 

उस दिन पैरों तले जमीन खिसक गई ,मां की सुनी कलाई देख और छोटी बहन की आंखों में भोलापन 

जिसे न पता था कि क्या हुआ ,उसे तो समझा दिया था की पापा दूर गए है बाद में आयेंगे ,

  मगर सच तो मेरी आंखों से निकल रहा था ।

न पढ़ाई पूरी ,हुई न सपने 

ये ख्वाब ही था जो टूट गया।

 पास के पंचर की दुकान वाले ने तरस खाकर काम दे ही दिया,

पैसा कमाया तो , उस दिन पता लगा कि बाप की वो मार जो सिनेमा जाने पर पड़ती थी उसका मतलब क्या था ।

बड़ा अफसर न सही इतना काबिल तो बना दिया था हालात ने की बहन की शादी और मां का गुजारा कर लिया था ।

26 साल का होते ही हाथों में काम का बोझ दिखता ,तो कंधों पर जिम्मेदारी ।

मां ने व्याह तो रचा दिया था ,बाकी घर मैने बसा लिया 

बड़े उतार चढ़ाव आए जिंदगी में जो मैने और मेरी पत्नी सुशीला ने साथ में झेल लिए।

देखते ही देखते बेटा हो आया ,

अब बाप बना था तो ,अपने मरे हुए बाप को समझने लगा था ।

पता नहीं लगा कब उसको चलना सिखाते ,खुद लाठी पकड़ने लग पड़ा ।

आज मौत दस्तक दे रही है अपनी प्रिय को छोड़ने का समय आया है ,

बहुत से सवाल अभी भी बाकी हैं ,बहुत से ख्वाब अभी भी बाकी है ,

मगर मौका हाथ से दौड़ा जा रहा है ,

पलक झपकते बचपन बीत गया  

एक बार और पलक झपकाई बड़ा हो गया 

जब आखिरी बार झपकाई तो आंखे बन्द करने का समय आ गया 

अब मौका मिला है उन खूबसूरत लम्हों को याद करने का 

असलियत और ख्वाब को फिर से जीने का ।

अब आंखें बंद कर रहा हूं उन यादों को पीछे छोड़े जा रहा हूं ,अलविदा साथियों 

अपना आखिरी सलाम दिए जा रहा हूं ,

अलविदा !!!साथियों अलविदा!!!

Hope you like this small poem written by me special thanks to Varsha my one of the dearest sibling jisney poori poem hindi mey type kari thanks alot 🌸🌸✨✨

Waiting for your comments 🌸✨

And hope ki you all will recite this poem to your elders and parents as they can Relate to it more .🌸🌸♥️✨♥️✨

Hardcore

 It's very hard trying to live my life 

Everytime I move on I went even deep inside

The loneliness surounded me no one was there,

To keep me company .

I was hungry tho food was there 

I was frustrated tho no one bothered me 

I was crying tho no one hit me 

I was sorrunded by all the emotions I never felt.

I felt guilty tho any of these things happening to me wasn't my fault .

All the negativity became my friends 

Positive vibes were no less then hell .

That was late when I realized 

I kept the door closed of my happiness 

By neglecting all the good things from my bad time around .

But I still stand the chance to change who I became then ,

Balance is what added flavour to my life 

Co-operations with my family , were tangy and sour  kept me awake for the nights ,

I had dark circles but was not exhausted at all.

Kindness and help from my peers  serve as the sweet dish to my appetite .

When I thought back of the time now ,

It wasn't easy to overcome still thanks to everyone , who helped me in those toughest hours of my journey.

All the dearies ,choices can be complex many times but you have to think wisely everytime. 

Help yourself first ,stand up !

only then you will find the bright light of this universe .

Plz share your comments , it's pleasure to see a active participation. Suggestions are always welcome.😁😁😁♥️♥️

So till next blog ... Peace out ♥️♥️

Deflowered (part-2)

 Hello everyone hope you all are doing fine and leading a happy life .  

In India ,

*India recorded an average of 87 rapecases daily in 2019 and overall 4,05,861 cases of crime against women during the year, a rise of over 7% from 2018, the latest government data released on September 29, 2020.

*One rape was reported every 16 minutes in Indiain 2019.

Not only girls even boys are counted too. This is what the census is like and these are all about registered cases ,still  so many unregistered cases are there,Jo  samaaj k darr se ,bejjati k darr Kabhi file hi nhi hote . 

These are all facts, we can't change.

In our previous post we all got to know about Ayisha , her life, her journey ,her struggle and her sorrowful past.

And this story is about the same only. Brief jist : Ayisha a teen ,who got pregnant after getting bruttaly raped and decided to keep her baby  . I have told you about her decision but not about the struggle she faced .

In Indian society after ,sexually assault ,according to them ,Zindagi vhi Ruk jaati h and by any chance, she got pregnant that means a Hell. And for god sake if she decides to keep the baby like Ayisha ,means bichare zinda toh honge lekin pal pal maut k ghaat utaare jaayenge(commo

n thinking) , har second izzat ki dhajjiyaan udaayi jaayegi ,Ganda khoon , slut , and many things . Ayisha faced the same thing when she decided to keep the baby kya Kuch nhi Kaha Hoga  logon ne but she choose to block all those comments and to move on with what she decided. 

As one of my friend said 

"Indian society and I don't think it  was possible to her to be a mother as such a young age she wasn't physically , financially , emotionally  and mentally ready for this. It is easier said than done  as giving birth to a child and raising a child are two different things . And she was ready to abort the child untill she knew that she can't conceive again so she could adopt a child when she was ready for being a mother financially and mentally . I won't support  giving such a life to a child  Which is worse than hell because he won't be able to live peacefully as he will not get his rights will be discriminated and will have to fight for each and every single thing  and it's no benifit in living like that ." - Anusha .

This is what girls like Ayisha fear ,ki they won't be able to live peacefully ,will be discriminated and have to fight continuously. I won't deny these things as we all know it's the bitter truth of  society.(rest read further also)

Another thing now which is totally different ,so sorry but my intentions are not to harm anyone ,

so another point of view ,

"Hi Don'take me wrong but I feel the view presented here is quite heroic and not practical. It's ok if it's a film or serial, to show a happy ending. But in real life your story actually starts from here. I feel it's rarely that people take this decision until and unless they can't abort the child due to medical reasons. 

Also, the motive of the person doing wrong was to hurt you and ruin your life. And you have done it yourself now. Having a child at such a young age and that too being a single mother is not a piece of cake.

Can't even imagine what she has to go through in INDIAN SOCIETY and of course her career is also totally ruined. It might be looking generous and  motherly keeping the child, but when you think deeply, you realise the moment the child comes in this world, he will have to fight with every force tagging and disgracing him and his mom. 

So, simply it won't be a good childhood to go through. Don't kill the child, but give a life to him that is worse than hell. And ruin your life to the greatest possible extent,  when it could all have been ok with moving on.This is what this solution represents. Yes, I agree it's not that easy as it seems, but difficult way will give you a fruitful life and the emotionally chosen one will be giving a harsh and humiliating one. If you are mentally strong enough, go for keeping the child, but if you have even slightest of the doubt, abort it. This is the solution according to me."- ARSHDEEP

Now would like to share my thoughts, my point of view here , first it's not like a tv'c it's not  for sure like ki It's only possible in Hindi drama ,then I must say ki it's just a "veham" these things can exist, can happen too and it's not like ki everytime if a girl got raped then conceived ,took the decision to raise the child ,only have a dead end or bad ending why we think like that ?why? If we say ki nothing is impossible then why it is not possible ? It's not completely compulsory ki she will only meet disgusting people who will taunt her on the basis for her ,she will also meet those people who will support her stand  up for her and those people will make impossible " I AM POSSIBLE".  Just because I didn't mention what she suffered doesn't mean ki idk what she would have gone thru.       

I know it's not a piece of cake but she decided that so she already have thought about ki what it will be like in future . When  These things happen ,koi aisa decision leta h toh hum pahele hi yeh sochana shuru KR dete h ki she must have gone insane ,took the decision emotionally, not practical enough ,but yeh bhul jaate h ki she might have thought it through beforehand ,why can't we keep this in our hypothesis too ,pahele SE yhi bolna ki it's wrong without asking about their POV is wrong .

 And I strongly disapproves ki after giving birth her career will be ruined ,how?  In ancient times women used to conceive in their teens only and still they were able to have a good life and good career too, there are so many single mothers around us who got pregnant at young age conceive and now are successful . It's all in our mind that's it ,just a myth nothing else.  Hum yeh Bolte h "aurat chahe toh kya Kuch nhi KR Sakti "so apply bhi krna chahiye . Zindagi Ruk nhi jaati h voh chalti rehati h lekin thammte hamare kadam h .   About the baby ,having a life worse then hell I must say one thing ki kya garauntee h if she have another child after getting married will be respected, won't be disgraced, if that is the truth then this is also the truth ki even that child have to suffer and will you all be able to say ki his life is worse then hell , no kyunki that is the kid after marriage that's it ,he would have a surname, a father's name bas ,toh Hume lagega he won't suffer( beautiful lie ).

I mean career ruined ? it's up to her ab USS incident k baad voh apni life rok toh nhi Sakti she has to be strong for the worse if she has a chance to survive that , kitni ladkiya Marr jaati h, Kuch ho jaata h lekin those who have chance then why not survive. Even if she abort kya chance h ki society Bolna chodddegi Kuch kahegi nhi voh tab bhi bolegi Yaar toh USS ko maarke sunne SE Acha h just give him life, raise him ,taught him well and live with proud.

I won't say Ayisha ek emotional ladki thi jazbaaton mey faisla liya krti thi no it's not true , she is the most powerful women . Not just because of her motherly love she kept the baby, if she wants to live then the child also have the right to do the same .   for me she has the guts to go against the society , GUTSY you know and DARING .

 I agree his childhood won't be easy but Yaar how could you say life like hell or more  and u ruin Ur life too an extent too, it's up to her parenting voh ussey Kitna strong banayegi Kaisi parenting degi or, uski life bhi ruined how, there so many single mothers In Our society or unke bhi young age mey Bache hote h but hopeless ni Hoti voh. (I know repeating the same thing ,gaur farmaiye ISS par)

Agar hamara point of view welcoming nhi Hoga toh Yaar aisi kitni Ayisha hongi aage Jo darr k rahengi firse .We have to be strong,Strong enough to raise the kid like total gentle men and showing the whole world ki yes I did it it's possible.

I didn't intend to hurt your feelings or views Intentionally , it's just ki what you guys are talking about is Jo hua h or hota Aaya h but what I want your main concern to bring out the "CHANGE" now.

Hume supportive Hona padega taaki jab hum society Ka part honge then girls like Ayisha doesn't have to feel humiliated have to suffer about this decision of them . Many girls those who wants to keep the baby decided to abort just because the fear of society . I merely want a change in your thought to have a welcoming , supportive and positive approach to this decision also ,I mean you all have that kind of thing too but Kahi na Kahi oppress hojaati h,so if they want to keep the child they don't have to fear the society. Change in mindset can change the future of so many Ayishas also .

This decision is harsh and hard just because society kya bolegi if we try ki yeh decision inke liye hard hi na hone do toh (those who wants ) hn, if we try to just "CHANGE"then . We have to change so that our chotu SA change can make a bigger difference.

Just like how we say ki "teach your boys to behave well then teaching girls to be submissive" same yhi logic h ,Jo cheez log seedha seedha nhi samjh rhe unhe aise samjhana Hoga. kyunki when we grow up tab humse society banegi we will be the part of the society ,agar hum yhi cheez "normal"mey nhi laa paayenge toh what's the point in being the so called responsible citizen ,educated and naari Shakti k maare lagane Ka .

If change in present is not possible then make it for the future this is just like THE WAR FOR TOMORROW AND OF TOMORROW. 

 What we have to focus is on CHANGE nothing else .

***

Some beautiful solutions given by Anusha and Sarika :

ANUSHA

Because I am  against keeping the child with her as it will destroy the life of both of them . Atleast giving the child away would give the child a better life because clearly she couldn't abort the child  .

I know this solution is not Ideal and would be very tough for her

But this id is the best I could think of as it's better for both of them 

She will be satisfied that her child is alive and the child will be able to live a normal life.

: I also feel the government should think something about these children and should take the responsibility of such children . I mean should make some rules and arrangement so that such children can lead a normal life as it's not there fault and everybody has a right to live peacefully .

SARIKA:

: And i believe that girls nowadays should know self defence and escaping techniques because we dnt knw wht happnes next with whom and in this case as well ayesha if was able to escape a bit earlier then maybe situation would be not that much worst but it is actually easy to say things like this 

Because when some girls like ayesha are in this kind of sitaution they are not able to think.with presence of mind

***

At last I will say ki don't feel offended and hurt just thoda sa iss par gaur krna vakt dena ,plz plz plz m saying again don't feel offended m really sorry ,if you all do feel that way .

#ChangeTheSociety #WeAreTheSociety.

Thank you .😁😁have a nice day 

Comment box is open for all of you ,plz share your thoughts and views and as I have said earlier in my post , all the comments I have till now will be posted soon .

Take care everybody.😁

Deflowered (part-01)

 [02-april-2017,

Knock knock ,

Anyone here ? hello myself Ayisha ,what's up guys ?😁😁 So today is my first day at school I mean  it's my new school , freaking excited 😉😉😎😎, oops! forgot to tell you am in 12 standard yea yea Mera last year h or school change don't ask me the reason kyu Kiya bas kr liya . Idk wether I will be able to adjust or not ,man! who cares let it be for now ,me gotta enjoy to the fullest aakhir apni koi repo vagera bhi banani h Yaar school mey . Gtg😁😁

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.

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Yoi ,m back Huh!!! my first day was tiring miss Pushpa my maths teacher she irritates the hell out of me bas Baar Baar mujhse SE hi har question Pooche jaari thi hadd h ,hn ni toh or haaye hamare Eng k sir he is so handsome 😗😗 whatever don't misunderstand okay ,baaki classmates are awesome, friendly h or baaki , Harsh ,a guy in my class he is so nerd types kya hi bataun ,everytime playing with phone in the class  , always surrounded by girls and thoda body builder types ,we don't vibe not even a least bit totally opposite . Raviz and Christ they both are nice girls I mean we share a great bond ig😶 ,just like we were meant to be friends ,destined bosom friends . 

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 A whole month passed ,now gotten  used to my new school ,made friends , everything seems normal . Ab toh summer vacations aari h.😌😌.

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After 1 whole year ...

Hii guys meet my sweety Anu my child my baby Anirudh,he is only a  month year old . He is surprisingly cute and too small . Have to carry him very carefully   he is so soft and fragile ki if i hold him thoda sa tight   he might break one or few of his limbs 😆😆how cute .

You all guys must be surprised ki Mai kya bol rhi hu voh bhi poore 1 Saal baad ,don't think m mad I really got a child . This whole year was  hell for me I suffered ,I tried to run away ,I cried , got panic attacks ,depression  and many things . You all must be curious ki why ?? Why?? And why ?? 

M going to share my painful past now here with you all ,

it was june my summer break was going on I was happy doing my holiday homework ,parties with friends and all that was quite a fun time for me but one day ,on 18 June my life changed , Jo hua ,that was the turning point . It was 6 pm In the park , was jogging or at 7 on my way back home  ... got kidnapped ...mujhe nhi pata tha ki where I was what's going on with me I was drugged at that time and there was a man ...bruttaly assaulted me I wasn't even in my senses to ask out for help  , my whole body was numb ,lying there helplessly . After whole night passed ,I managed escape somehow, only ik ki how I managed to do so at that time,that was totally horrible for me .

When I came back at my home in a total messed up state , parents questioned kya hua ,what happened ,bolo Kuch ,but aisa tha ki aavaaz hi ni Nikal rhi thi everything was blank ,not able to understand what they were saying wasn't able to accept ki Jo hua voh real tha  ,after a whole half an hour  I blurted out everything that took me a lot of courage , my family was not able to digest this fact ,I lost control over my conciousness felt dizzy and dheere dheere Andhera SA hone laga and suddenly total black out ,my parents launched the complaint I was admitted to the nearby hospital . 2 weeks passed i was still in the coma then ,mujhe Sab sunaayi dera tha I was able to hear my parents cry ,begging me to woke up but Mai toh uthna hi ni chahti thi bas bhula dena chahti thi Jo hua , after sometime I decided to face the reality and then my body started showing response Sab mujhme improvement dekhkar Khush the but dukhi bhi the mere future k baaremey sochke yeh sochke k unki beti k Saath yeh kya ho gya . 

Month passed away ,started feeling better Sab Kuch normal hone laga tha Mai voh sab bhulaane lagi thi  ,thanks to Dr. Pallavi my counsellor she encouraged me motivated me helped me a lot during the hardest stage of my life .

School got started ,everything get back to normal on surface for me ,firbhi ek darr Beth gya tha Mann mey , parents took extra care of me mujhe Akela na chodna akele na jaane dena everything. Only Raviz and Christ knows ki kya hua tha merese and few teachers that's it ,it was fine for me . 

Then suddenly I got Dizzy and fell from the chair ,at first nothing happened then after that I got Nauseous ,  vomiting and started feeling weak. Parents took me  to clinic and pata Chala I was 1month 4weeks pregnant. Another huge blow on me .

...

...

...

Huh... lost my state of mind at first don't want to accept locked up myself in my room for days ,counselling ,  depression anxiety or got myself so stressed thinking about the thing inside my body . Yeh baat accept krne mey mujhe aadha mahina lagg gya . I was in the rehab centre at that time. So after 2 months my parents and I approved for the abortion went to gaynecologist but got another hit ki due to my weak body I won't be able to conceive next time  if we abort now . I believed ki my body sucks for sure .why is it all happening to me only why ? Questioned myself doubted myself and blamed the divinity at then end .

Maine bht socha iss baaremey ki Jo Mai KR rhi hu voh fair Hoga Uske liye who isn't even born yet , do I really need to kill this child . After that I made up my mind and decided to keep the child ,hn my parents were against my decision got myself in fight with them but ladkar datkar Sab Kuch krke they finally agreed they don't have the option either .

Don't think ki Maine abort isliye nhi Kiya cuz there won't be any next time but shaayad due to my instinct . Hardest desicion ever sabne Kaha pagal ho gyi h, it's wrong your future will be destroyed ,bht Sunna padega ,akele itni choti Umar, how will you manage but I didn't care ,darr mujhe bhi lag Raha tha ki kya Hoga ,kaise Hoga ,Sahi Hoga ya nhi . Par I decided to face that I decided to keep the baby for the sake of his future I don't want to regret ki Maine kisise uski life mey aane Ka right hi le liya aakhir the child was totally innocent he was not at fault . 

Jo good news sabko life mey Naya feel Naya experience laati h that news made me confuse, wether I be happy or not ,do I have the right to do so what does maternal feeling feel like , I will be a mom so will I have those instincts ,that other mothers have . Butterflies in stomach want to be happy ,but at the same time thinking should I be or not these mixed feelings ufff.

It is said "EVERY CLOUD HAS SILVER LINNING " this line inspired me and I opened my arms to welcome my child  to live a new life , to start over again, to give another kick in my life . I was well aware with the fact ki  with baby responsibilities will be there ,I was already prepared for all that .

I still gave my boards exams ( open schooling ) got my certificate ,gave birth to my child , now m raising him and doing my college from open . That was a harsh descion still I don't regret . ]

THE END 

So guys how are you all hope you all are doing fine . Met after a long time . ☺️☺️

So don't get confused ki yeh kya tha ,

Yeh thi Ayisha ki kahani , short story basically. It's harsh terrible ,scary and quite pitful story, I won't say pitful I will say a very inspiring story . This took me a lot of courage as it's a very controversial topic people have different opinions so slightly scared . There are many parts with less explainations as I wasn't able to write them I felt sorry for that. Do forgive me for that  .

 I wasn't able to elaborate few emotions properly sorry for that also , don't mind plz😕😞. As some emotions needs a special touch hope ki to some extent there is that special feel. Hope you all liked the story and get to know about another perspective.

QUESTION TIME🤓🤓

I want to ask everyone if you were Ayisha aap sabka kya decision hota ? What would have been your choice ? Was her descion correct or not and why ? 

Now the platform is yours , share your thoughts or suggestions  in comment section.

Looking forward for the answers of the questions I asked . people have different point of view so i request don't feel offended by anything . Just share your views and I will make sure to add those of your comments in my next blog as I will be sharing my point of view also next time .

Hope to see you soon take care and think deeply or wisely. And make sure to get vaccination on time .

Gone

 Hello friends ,hope you all are fine and happy if not then can  you please  try to smile just for once .

I m going to discuss something very emotional or even a topic we all used to avoid even I myself ,but still I mustured up my courage today to express what I feel or what oh god it's hard to express even ... Ohk so it's about the end ,about life about death ...

Hope you all will neglect my small mistakes as emotions can make people think those things which doesn't even exist .

I still remember that day when heard the news that ,she is no more that night ,she was wrapped in all plain stainless white cloth we all were hoping for her to wake up but still that was just a hope for nothing ,the night was long I can't fell asleep I want to spend each and every second with her  . My eyes were searching for her movements ,ears logged for her speech and my Senses for her touch . There was a deadly silence at that time, nobody spoke tho it felt like we still can hear those words of silence . Not even an inch was visible of her body , not even a single strand of her white hairs . She was lying in front of us for hours but still we were not able to wake her up .  My heart was restless as I wasn't able to believe that she is gone untill when people spl the males of family prepared a wooden sage for her they kept her on that sage and started saying "raam naam Satya h" I still remember those words . They did haunt me for many nights and days . She was gone ,she was on a pathway which leads to another life ,another journey . I thought I was so useless ki I can't bring her back to life .( Dumb of me )

I cried for hours non stop ,why she was gone like that ?why? I questioned to god ,questioned to myself this is what we call fate what we call destiny . Nobody stopped me from crying nobody encourages it either .

Days passed I still missed her , after 2 months everything seems normal again as if she never existed in our life.  I was like is it okay to lead our life normal again ,she won't feel like we didn't missed her ,those days felt like I was a criminal who committed a unforgivable crime  . 

After 5-6 months everything goes back to what it was before , people got busy with their jobs , children with there online classes. Something was off i guess I told myself that it's been long since I heard her voice I started forgetting how her voice sounds like that was quite depressing for me but more like a sin . Her room was empty whenever I passed through that room I still wish to find her lying there on her bad . Her smell vanishes away ,I forgot her voice and started urging for her it ,for her face ,her touch ,her food many things .

Those useless hopes gave my thoughts wings and later on i realised that yes she is gone ,gone to a new journey she won't be back just shrug off these thoughts but kya Karu pagal Hu kahin na khain umeed Mari ni thi meri  then later on aakhir maan hi liya kab tak khudse jhuth Bolti.

It's been a year she is gone I m completely fine now , everything went back to normal I found a new way to remember her voice (vedios of course ) ab unhe Yaad krke aankho mey aasun toh Aate h par voh jhuthi umeed nhi .

Isn't it very strange ki yeh jaante hue bhi Jo gya h voh vaapis nhi aayega we still live in our own world build up jhuthi umeedein which hurts after some time . Person with whom we spent our most of the life when he or she is gone we get back to our life as if nothing happened  ,I guess this is what we call life .  Behate samudra ki Tarah chalti rehati h rukti nhi jitni bhi rukaavate Aaye apni gati banaye rakhti h.

People should accept these kind of facts on earlier basis so you won't get hurt by your  0 hopes later on ... 

We all have gone through this stage of life , very painful  for the relatives, for the family members ,friends etc . While we were mourning for them they choose to hit a  new beginning  . So we all should just wave our hands say goodbye and  let them go although we don't want to still we have to so that they have great after life .

   A thousands words won't bring you back

I know because I have tried 

   Neither will a thousands tears 

I know because I have cried 

By - Kily Dunbar

Beautiful words ... whenever you feel you don't want to believe thet fact then just recall  these words.😊😊

Hope you all can relate, can place yourself in my shoe  ,able to read it as it's your story and hope you find this blog connecting or good .

Plz share ,read and follow humble request from my side ...

Thank you!

ONLY FOR YOU

 Hello guys here we meet again ,after long time hn... So how are you all ,enjoy festive season or  hope you all are doing good these days .

This piece of work I m going to dedicate to you yes it is for you the one reading this, hope at some point you will be able to relate if not then I am really sorry in advance ,hope you will respect that😊😊😊.

I think you might be feeling wronged sometimes ,alone or even helpless  for whatever reason I don't know but would like to know if you want to share 😊😊we can share the burden of yours if  don't want to share with me then share with someone close to you , it will never harm you my dear .  Just don't interpret ki if you share then your feelings might became the burden on the person whom you shared your feelings with ,it's never too late Yaar Dil kholkar ko Dekho . Don't always think so insecure that you will eventually forget his or her real intention or end up hurting them.

 My fellow mate it's of no use if you are gonna keep that baggage full of your past on your shoulders ,you can't change anything can you ... No  it's all in your mind that's it. How will you focus on your present if your eyes are still finding flaws in your future and past ,let go MERI Jaan let it go there is no point in repenting no point .

Not every person beside you is bad just try to face your issues more rather than just running away.  It's okay if you don't know how to solve it, what to do next,where to go ?,whom to ask ?,whom to trust , and many more ,leave all these questions on time ,time is the best teacher . Let go each and those thoughts that makes you believe you are worst then yesterday ,let go all those questions jinke jaavab tum dhundh na paao , Let go all those problems jinke solutions mil na paaye . Always believe someone is always there praying for your success hoping that you will be fine don't disappoint them ,fight Yaar you can win in any situation .

Life is not a game it's just a time given by god to live to fullest , to achieve your happiness , it's not like ki bas bure log h good people are also there . 

Don't keep everything in your heart sweetheart let it all out from your heart ,as small as your fist ,Kitna sambhalega bichara reham kardo , just open up speak up about what you are facing no one will laugh no one will sympathise with you they will support you ,help you grow your foundation more stronger .

Just cry out , cry if you want but don't cry for the same reason again . Or in few case there is nobody to listen you ,believe you in that situation don't forget god is always there for you , just say whatever you want to ,to god he will listen to you silently and hn it's my own experience ki that feels much good so you can try guys hope the method will help you out .😁😁😁

YOU ARE THE KING 

YOU ARE THE SUFFERER

JUST DONT FORGET 

YOU ARE BORN TO SHINE 

NOT TO WEEP ON YOUR SINS ...

Thank you 

suggestions are most welcome and happy new year guys hope this year brings joy and ray of hope in your life ☺️☺️☺️😊😊😊.

Don't forget to comment and read .

Welcome winter

 Hello guys ,how are you all , hope you all are doing well .😇😇😇. I am really very sorry very very sorry guys  sorry to make you wait for my next blog. I do have my reasons so hope you all will respect that .

"Winter is a season of recovery and preparation." 

"Winter is not a season, it's a celebration."

We all know these phrases and we actually can relate to it to an extent .it's the season when we can recover ourselves and prepare ourselves for another tough battles . even when our hands got burnt cold water helps to heal them faster ,just like that this helps our inner soul to heal in peace .

(Being cold doesn't means you are heartless or a  blood robot no it's just your way to make yourself feel more warmer, there is nothing wrong. But  neglecting your own true feelings is wrong . Don't force yourself to be an iceman types when you know you can't ,you will only end up harmming yourself.Not every time it's not necessary to be cold to the one who cheated on you just pretend like strangers and move away , even the feeling of coldness  inside you will heal you but if that becomes an emotion that will shatter you into many pieces.)THODA EXTRA GYAAN.

People say winter is the season of chill vibes coldness and many more icey words ,but it's wrong for me this is the warmest season ever . Most cozy environment you can ever find is in winters only, wrap yourself around a blanket and you will feel the warmth in the air .

The season of elachi and adrak vaali chai is on . First sip is like Amrit and voh thandi thandi hava is like ab apsaraye naach RI h saamney .

Divaali SE lekar Christmas break till welcoming new year with the warmest hugs ,then how can you say it's cold in winter .Dadi ke banaye hue sweater ,voh rajaayi vaali garami ,handshake mey voh thodi Der or vaali feeling . Hot milk ya coffee with  a quilt  then tell me guys where is thandi vaali feeling .

Welcome winters ! Hope you will bring joy and prosperous life to all of us . A beautiful request from your lover (winter lover).

Few beautiful words-

*Albert Camus

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

*Lewis Carroll

I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, "go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.

Let's start calling winters the warmest months ever not the cold ones 😇😇

Bbyie guys hope to see you soon.

Love letter to winters

From- Me 😁😁

Treasure box

 Hii everyone, hope everyone is fine at their end . First I want to share a poem with you hope you all will like it if not then sorry I can't do anything about that ,Just kidding guys relax  . So here I am -

I grew up with many flaws 

They accepted me with immense hope

Don't know when I turned against them 

That was the biggest mistake I committed back then ,

I don't know why I behaved like that 

I don't know why they corrected me again and again ,

I was busy in earning money 

And they get the idea of 'don't want' anymore 

Silently they pave their way to death

For me to live happily sacrificed their every sec 

Dis is not what I want but happened and end worse then I expect,

I shouted at them but they didn't fought back 

That  was their sign' we can't suffer anymore '

They left and at last I was all alone

Thinking what a big fool I was ?

Destroyed my happiness with my own hands ...

 

The poem is bit tricky I know, ahhh sorry...  ,so lemme tell you this poem is actually about a parent and child relationship .

 I do want to add more but that will for sure full of mystery ,so I need to stop somewhere . My bad .  Huhhhh..

We all know in ancient times parents used to decide with whom their children are going to marry ,they decide what their future proffession will be  ,and many many decisions . By the time, now we have the liberty to do whatever we want to  . Wow !!dude means such a  drastic change ,now kind of feeling proud 😌😌 ... Hahahaha...leave it . But it's Very

Very ironic  that in past children don't have the liberty ,they follows Thier parents command not even dare to question their decision , now children have the liberty but still dare to disrespect Thier  parents.

Commendable means how we are accepting the change such a positive way ,talking to the elders disrespectfully , arguing with them hats off guys.

Children nowadays arguing with their parents ,why I can't go out with my friends?, They used to say ' it's my life i will do whatever I wish to , you don't need to interfere in my business ' I was like are you serious interfere is it a joke can't you all understand this Little thing that you don't have any existence without your parents .  Telling ,them to mind their own business then let me tell you it's your parents choice to let you come in this world so you must be thankful to them . Boys are like I don't care what my parents say I still will continue not to study ( fir aage jaake vahi krna h Chote note kaam bas) and girls are like I will leave my parents for you my sweetheart , means are you kidding what is happening with you all guys . Kaha jaa rahe ho , where . 

Sometimes I can understand ki yes you are out of control and just shouted at them but on daily basis cursing those hands who feeds you then I must say you don't deserve anything.

Literally no one, no one I am saying again, just  our generation,who is kicking out of their parents from their homes to old age homes . Can't you even take care of them what do you think what they want your money ( tumhaare liye kamaya), property ( Jo already tumhe Dedi) they just want some quality time with you that's it and you don't want to give that even .

 And at last when you are in any problem you are like mom dad please help me  and they still do . They are so humble to you na . 

Not everyone get what you have ,world's biggest treasures ,mom who will care for you ,cook for you and dad earn for you, sacrifice his own happiness for you .

In there whole lifetime they haven't even heard of I pod but still will brought one  you if you want .

Don't argue with them don't shout on them don't . They are not mad that they are nagging on you for no reason you must have did something wrong ,so just try to accept your mistake and live happily .

Coz when they will be gone you will regret for what you have done to them .save  them don't use them .

Now I won't lecture anymore or gonna write anymore on dis topic hope you all understand what I want to say .

As usual I want to write further sigh... But I can't Varna you will think such a bore I am .

 Special thanks to Aaqueeb who suggested me to write on this topic . Thank you very 

much .

Suggestions are most welcome as usual  . Thanks for reading this. 

Dear teen

 Hello friends but plz no chaai pilo just drink whatever you want to . I am here to give you a little bit of gyaan ( knowledge ) or or enlightenment I know these heavy words are such a burden ufff... leave it 

These are the few lines hope you all can relate 

    DEAR TEEN DON'T MAKE MY FUN 

     I WANN BE COOL BUT ALWAYS END UP AS FOOL

    Oh GOD THIS PHASE IS TOUGH

    DONT KNOW WHAT I DID IS CORRECT OR WRONG...

So I hope you all got a hint of what I m going to write about . Teenagers /adolescent ,age of puberty ,the phase when we are neither big (adult) nor small (kid) . A time phase which decides our future, built our character and most importantly very adventurous ,hurtful , beautiful and confusing stage . We  experiences a roller coaster of emotions . We get to know different people ,try to act act cool , start Abusing because they think it's actually a proud think , start bunking classes ( not saying that don't bunk just saying not on regular basis) passing lame comments on teacher and lame jokes all these shitty things which we kind of think as cool or even regard as thug life .

So let me tell you these things doesn't make you look cool I know you want to explore everything in just a snap but you can't you need to have patience. 

In this age we get  ourselves into many worst things which we used to regret later on . We started thinking like nobody is bigger than me ,if he can buy an apple phone why can't I at this age so we start arguing with our parents . Even on small issues we used to fight with our siblings . We try to get our so called privacy ( of no use ) .

I know and can understand ki it's happens parents SE ladaayi , dost Ka panga ,teacher ki daant and all . It's actually a new start ,a burst of emotions , web of hormones and hurricane of loads of rresponsibility.We get attracted to many guys around us or hot girls ,we usually got infactuated ,crush ,break up and patch ups and all ,but forgetting about your studies is wrong , started doing bad things in love is wrong , isolating yourself from your family just because you want to spend more time with your girlfriend / boyfriend is wrong .

Focus on your career first ,then on other things I am not saying that stop  loving , living or enjoying.  Just change your way that's it .

Got into the fight with your parents ,then just stand still and don't argue further because you even yourself don't know  what you are saying in anger or in some situations both parents and you are correct at your own place . You know what after long arguement with your parents  you then used to realise that you did say something wrong . So don't get yourself in that situation.

I do have a lot to say still letmme stop here only . Varna you all would say' oh gosh she writes so much' so let's end it here

Hope you all like it 

Suggestions are most welcome as usual.

Thank you 

It's mutual

 Hello friends I m back now ,lemme tell you one thing I will publish my blogs once in every week so hope u will check out my blogs ,This a kind notice to all my readers.

Walking alone in the market lane nothing felt like usual . suddenly my phone rang (Zara Zara mehakta h...) I picked up the call there was no excitement anymore it changes to sorrow coz I knew that ,that call not gonna make me happy anymore . I answered the call "yes , so we are gonna meet where ?",he replied" cafe coffee Day"still the voice was melodious so humble to ears he said "say something I m waiting " then my dream broke I replied"aghhh... I will be there at 5:00 pm sharp ." He knows I m very punctual so he replied " I still believe you ..."a deep and dark silence was there at that time I can feel his heavy breathes telling me not to come sigh ... Just to broke the ice I said " I know ... let's meet and continue our conversation at cafe" I just heard "hmmm" and then he hung up . We both know  that this will be the turning point of our lives .  At 5 sharp I was there in the cafe where as usual he was 5 minutes earlier then me . At first we said nothing to each other coz we both knew it already what we both gonna say to each other isn't it ironic naa... Our eyes met a silence broke ,he was shivering at that time ,I held his hand ,very cold actually . Finally he said " I know  I can't live without you but I will try ,I know you will still love me, I know even you don't want this but we need to "...with heach heart I said " I understand "... 

Both left at the same time to different path .That was the last goodbye last meeting last chatting last, last, last ...

O  gosh!... same day at night he called  me " god knows why the hell I m crying I can't live without you you are mine but on the same side I know we need to, it's mutual I know ..." He was shaking his voice was breaking at that time I  said nothing he cried his heart out and I was just weeping  this  is what i can do at that time I felt so helpless. I hang up the call coz I can't stand his tears and all. Again, that was the last phone call.

I just texted him "have a wonderful life ahead " that's the end of our relationship don't you think it just ended up like that no drama at all . Because sometimes we need to just give a happy ending to a story . Even he knows that  the day would come when we need to part away . He didn't forced me to stay either do I . we just say farewell to each other and left . 

I need to say who said this that men take more time to get out from break up not girls ,who said this that if a break up happens then it must be ki ''kisi ek ne dhokha de Diya hoga' why you all used to think like that ,when break up happens it hurts both of them equally no-one is hurt more or less . Rest voh Kitna time lagata h ubharne mey it's their tendency to move on some take less or some mor time upto them . 

I still remember those beautiful memories we shared  . Those days were surely beautiful. 

He became the most incredible chapter of my life .

Sometimes it's compulsory to part away then being together .  Sometimes holding a rope hurts  more and  leaving it  gives happiness.

We need to understand this .

Hope you all like it . Suggestions are most welcome as usual.